March 20, 2012

Spring Renewal, I Need You

Stormy skies
Foggy morning
Seedling factory
Basil
Broccoli
Lettuce
I've been shamefully neglectful of Odd Bird Studio since debuting this blog, developing my website, and opening my shop on Etsy. The manic energy that went into the initial push spilled over a couple of weeks beyond opening the shop on the first of February. I made a few more items for the shop and then ceased to do much of anything.

Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, I'm familiar with this behavior in myself. It's the same pattern I follow when preparing for an exhibition. Single-minded focus and huge amounts of energy (where does it all come from?) pour into the task at hand. The pieces are finished and framed and on the wall, the opening reception is suffered through, and then I am utterly exhausted. I lie fallow for a while.

I prefer to work steadily. I guess I'd rather be the tortoise than the hare. When I set myself goals and deadlines I have great success with being the tortoise. Shoot a minimum of 2 rolls (that would be film, about 80 shots) a week, take them to be processed, spend all day Monday in the darkroom printing the previous week's film. And so on.

But, as friend Albert would say, work is a combo platter. The steady, productive daily grind with periods of manic effort as hard deadlines approach.

Now I'm navigating a realm without deadlines. Unless I impose them myself. Which is why I have been working on a schedule for myself. I am tired of thinking at dinner, when I slow down and reflect on my day, that I didn't accomplish anything. Some of this stems from not knowing how long I generally spend on regular, mundane tasks like laundry and grocery shopping. Some of it is from not having a plan. Such as: today I will make 4 new mouse pads, tomorrow I will shoot them and post on Etsy. So simple, yet so hard to follow when time seems to disappear. Since time isn't actually disappearing, I need to figure out what I do with my time and schedule tasks within my days realistically.

In my mind household chores take the same amount of time they did when I lived alone, walked 3 blocks to the grocery store, and shoved laundry in the washer or dryer whenever I happened to pass them. My feeble mind has not caught up to accounting for the time it takes to plan menus and shopping lists for two, drive 15 minutes each way to the grocery store, coordinate to do all the weekly shopping necessary during one trip to town rather than running out whenever I need something, wash clothing for two - one of whom manages to wear 17 shirts in 6 days (how is this possible?) - hang clothing on the line to air dry, you get the idea. And, sure, I'd have more time away from chores if the husband shared more of them, but that is just not a realistic option in this marriage. I am WAY too particular about food and about how I like things to be done. Buying stock in Valium and generously self-medicating in order to allow someone else to do the dishes isn't a comfortable solution. It's easiest, so much more peaceful, and preferable if I do certain household chores myself.

This under-accounting of time extends beyond household chores. In my mind it takes an hour to make a set of 4 fabric coasters. Wrong. It takes 10 minutes to write a blog post. Wrong. I tried to condition myself to double, then triple, the amount of time I think anything requires. But somehow I always manage to forget to employ this little mental trick. Perhaps because I know it's not accurate. Which leaves me tracking the amount of time it takes to do the weekly shopping (about 3 hours, all told), to write & edit this post and choose & upload photos (over an hour!), etc.

Rather than a New Year's resolution, I'm taking a clue from nature. Watching my seedlings emerge and trees bud and listening to the peepers and toads sing all night illustrates the amazing amount of energy Spring releases. This exercise in tracking my time and scheduling my days is my Spring renewal push to energize my business. Wish me luck.

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